but what if, you’ve no idea what your dreams are? i think that’s the problem with me. am just too anal somehow. i love to dwell on the past. dwell on things that are already over, sometimes even wishing i can go back in time. it’s almost equivalent to crying over spilled milk.  maybe the saying that “the grass is always greener on the other side” really stands. i never like how my life is going at any point, then i look back and think “hey, those were the times, so much better. i missed it.” maybe another year or two from now, i’d wished i’m back here again, as much as i detest being here now. make sense, no? *laughs*

and so i read back on my blog entries two years ago. starting from the day i shifted over to wordpress. that was in February 2008. my previous blogger blog was further more than that. probably started in 2005? i rmbered why i moved. i wanted a change in blogging style. lesser photos, more words, wait.. i meant more constructive words. more of trying to express myself with them. but as time goes by, i lost that ability again. eventually unknowingly, i switched back to the i’mbloggingallaboutwhathappenedinmylifefromwheniwakeuptillisleep style. but oh well, at least, it gives me something to read back on somehow.

and talking about the past. can you imagine i used to love drawing? not like from my own imagination and all but at least, i drew from what i see. compiled all these from my past entries, back in the times where i was part-timing at Nikon. also, used to love going out with just a camera and a group of friends for phototherapy sessions. used to love helping out in the kitchen with mommy. used to love visiting the library in search of novels of all kinds to spend time to read. used to have passion for so many things…. what did i achieve back then? a sense of satisfaction i’d suppose? what about now? i lost all of that.

and so it seems. too much whining? too many complains? where’s the motivation to strive again? i wonder..

in search again.