flashbacks.

finally done with a task i’ve been procrastinating since before my December holidays. deadline met, tons to be done in time to come but right now, i want to just give myself a break. was trying to refresh the look of my blog for CNY after renewing my domain and i got absorbed into reading my past entries…

i miss the times i used to write an entry every other day. it made me feel like i had a more interesting life somehow. it feels like i could write better although not with perfect vocab and grammar. or maybe i just managed to express my thoughts better then because i was perpetually emo. honestly, i’ve been so so so emo-nemo, now that i read back, i find it funny.

i miss the times we had CCAs in school, be it in uni, poly or secondary days. the times when i go for council meetings, events, squash sessions, band practices and especially performances. those were the days we shone on stage.

i miss the times i was skinnier and had better skin. or rather, when i still had the youth. somehow i think i looked better. every outing now and then, we kinda took endless number of photos but nowadays, there isn’t much photos we can keep track of anymore. and to think we have better technology and better quality cameras; it’s such an irony huh.. maybe we just grew up and out of the 自拍 era which is probably for the teenagers.

i miss the times i drew, scribble and designed more. not like i had tons of masterpieces or if any of them made it to some charts but at least, there was an interest and something to have a sense of satisfaction about. i felt more creative then.

i miss the times when i played with recipes and made an effort to bake stuffs. i could mess up the entire kitchen, have the end products turn out like crap but even so, there was something to be proud of. where has the patience gone? these days, i barely even want to step into the kitchen, let alone whipping up a dish.

growing up seems to make me into a lazier person. or maybe i’m just lazy by nature. anyways! despite all the times i miss, and how depressed i may sound right now, i AM still very happy with my life. just need to find back some passion i might have left behind while growing up. afterall, i finally found someone i love who also happen to love me the same.. my family is still as loveable as it has been for the past 24 years and counting.. i still have many many wonderful friends whom i can call worthy-friends-for-life and are still by my side despite me being me.. i’m still holding on to a job (or two) which draws me a salary every month so that i can finance my crazy expenses.. what’s there to complain about, right?

and on a happier happy note, boyf is coming home in less than 3 days and i’m so looking forward to our trip to Bali because the reviews of the villa i’ve read so far has been pretty awesome. it’s just a pity we’re going to miss granny’s birthday party because of the date clash. just hope the sacrifice is worth it..

Growing up happens when you start having things you look back on and wish you could change but some day, we’ll be old enough to start reading fairytales again…

into the future.
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