So much tears behind this bottle of perfume le fiancé bought for me 2 years ago; tears of anger, tears of sadness, tears of happy surprise and then tears of guilt. Can’t remember the last time I cried this much..

Like probably an hour ago, while my dear Sissy was packing her stuffs, she conveniently thought this was hers and she thought it was fake and old so she threw it into a plastic bag full of trash. Soon after, Mummy who was being helpful then threw that fateful plastic bag down the rubbish chute. Funny how I actually came into the room after that and came looking for it. That was when I realised and THEY realised that they’ve thrown away something that meant alot to me. Firstly, it’s the first bottle of perfume D bought for me. Secondly, this was bought in Dubai. Thirdly, HELLO? I’M STILL USING IT! Well, I’ve to be honest though, that I was very angry but sad at the same time.. I know I kept complaining with blame because I didn’t understand why Sissy would do such a thing. She then whispered to me saying actually Mummy was the one who threw it down the chute. The “blame” in my heart went down a little upon hearing that but in my head, it was still anger. Well, I know Mummy didn’t mean it but still, I can’t get over the whole episode of them throwing my things without asking. Plus, it’s something precious to me. So there, tears started flowing. Other than blaming Sissy (and maybe Mummy), it was more of the sentimental value of the bottle that saddens me. As usual, me being me, the tears couldn’t stop. I was angry and sad. I didn’t stop being angry or sad so I just went to bed ignoring both of them. Cos I know if I don’t do that, I might start passing sarcastic comments. I just needed to let my tears flow, and wanted them to let me be. At that point in time, or many moments before then, Mummy then suggested to go down to the main rubbish chute to get it back. I said no, and no, and NO repeatedly although they kept mentioning it. I just didn’t feel a need for that. I am letting it go, I just needed to cry. I wasn’t using my tears to make them feel bad. But the next thing I know, like 15 minutes later, Mummy and Sissy came back home with this bottle.. The same old bottle, without the top cap, with a couple more scratches on it. There they were then, laughing at each other, laughing at how they went into the main rubbish chute, laughing at how Sissy was scared to touch those dirty  trash, and laughing at how Mummy stained her hands just to get that bag of rubbish that was thrown down 3 storeys from our rubbish chute to the main one downstairs. I can’t believe they did that for me, just because of my tears. At that exact moment, my tears flowed even more. More from the guilt and I can’t help feeling unfilial.. Thinking back, I refused to go to the chute with them because I insisted that I didn’t want it back. Because I was being stubborn and angry. Because I didn’t think it was worth the trouble. Because.. I just didn’t want to. But little did I expect them to still go ahead with it. To be honest, I don’t even know what to feel. Yes, I’m happy it’s back. But no, I’m not happy my mum had to go into the rubbish chute for me. I can’t stop tearing while typing this but now, I’ve to say this bottle has increased its value over a short one hour span. This is priceless. Totally priceless.

I love you Mummy, and I’m sorry. 😢

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