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; living life backwards while moving forward

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It’s nearing

enrolment in a week’s time, termination in 3 weeks’ time, commencement in a month’s time; am i looking forward? you bet! well, you see.. no matter how much i dread stepping into SIM, i really missed campus life so much that i can’t wait to start school.. but sadly, it’s going to mark the end of awaiting money-rolling-in pay days and spending chasing-serial-dramas weekends. (because i suppose i should have homework/revisions to do during weekends BUT you never know, i can always find time for that addictive hobby of mine! *grins*)

and hopefully by then, i can secure myself a good-paying part time job. you ask why? i’m a big girl now! and big girls shouldn’t be sitting about, sticking out hands, open their mouths, and wait for papa mama to feed them, should they? *LOL* but well, for that issue, i’ll be keeping my fingers crossed.. note the word: hopefully. *laughs*

after all, it still depends on how packed my schedule is going to be, how much time i can afford to work, and most importantly, will there even be a place that – i don’t mind working at – will hire me. imagine me doing the exact same actions i mentioned in the above paragraph! guess i’ll just become the contradicting laughing stock of everyone. tsktsk.. in any case, everything is still an enormous question mark right now. till then, we shall see how! (:

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My sister

my sister is a very wonderful and capable lady. at times, i find myself wishing i was half as capable as her. looking up to her, sometimes i even hope that one day, i could become like her. although she never did well in school and her results have always been substandard, i feel that her PR skills and ability to build rapport with people are already adequate to bring her to greater heights.

disregarding the few useless pieces of paper qualifications i own, i think she has achieved so much more than me. well, by right, every individual should and will excel in one thing or another. maybe maybe, i’ve just yet to find mine. i want to and i need to; but how – i wonder – do i go about filling up these empty talks?

now, that picture’s rather random (i know). you must be looking forward and expecting a pretty shot of my dear sister (i know). but i don’t have any on hand right now.. so, make do with mine first? *laughs* nah, i just wanna say, being optimistic is the key to happiness! so i guess, i really am TRYing to be!

PS: anyways, if you really am so curious on taking a look at my dear sis, go click on her in my links. (:

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Broken hair

right, more broken hair.. for a day or two, i thought it was all gone. i thought i was cured. i thought the nightmare was over. but nopes, this demoralizing hair problem is still haunting me. so much for the treatment which cost me a bomb. ok, not exactly a bomb but i’ve to work 3 days to earn that amount! well, the reason why i feel so cheated is because the person assured me what i was expecting.. *sigh* ANYWAYS, continue whining tsehwee, it won’t help the situation at all. *laughs at self* ):

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I’m tired

sometimes, if you don’t feel IN place, you’ve no motivation to continue at all. i’m really getting tired of all these responsibilities. it’s like, i’m starting to think i’m there for the sake of being there, not because i want to be there. do you see how pointless it is? i wish i could just let go & heck it all but i don’t want to be labeled “irresponsible”. and then again, i feel that there are others more suitable for this appointment, this position, this place i’m trying hard to fit into..

my decision.

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The dilemma

finally back to work after so many days of rest. first thing i received in the morning was an envelope with these 4 GV movie vouchers from my colleague. thanks dear! shall give my family a “treat” as soon as some blockbuster movie hits the theatre. (:

for the whole day, it’s like i’m living in a dream. too many things going on in my mind that i can’t really figure what i am thinking of. seems so lost, caught in between, i really don’t know what route to take..

what a dilemma..

7

Alcoholic

here’s a short article i came across in reader’s digest some time earlier..

honestly, it didn’t help me understand whether it is supposed to be good, or bad. but it’d be quite interesting if you can get that into your head and show off these big terms to someone if they ever ask you questions regarding this topic. *laughs*

well, no doubt i like feeling tipsy, i wouldn’t deny that i hate the after-effect of the alcohol lingering in my body. somehow, it’s not nice having hangover the next day, and i especially hate feeling nauseous for the whole day, having something still churning & burning inside my stummy, drinking gallons of water but still can’t help feeling dry, then still tasting chivas in the mouth and losing appetite for all meals. but HMMM, these just don’t seem to stop my urge to drink.. i’m losing my stand on the new year resolution i set half a year ago.

*sigh* in any case, i had fun last night despite being such a zombie at work today. but regrettably, i didn’t take any photos. hopefully i can rip the only one taken from someone who did..

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Fitting

at times, you may find yourself not fitting perfectly well somewhere; just tell yourself that at least you are almost there.. afterall, it beats having nowhere to be in at all. (:

can’t believe i was glued to the TV for 3 hours. well, can’t be blamed because there’s no more mobTV accounts to leech on. any kind souls out there? *grins* anyways, i thought The Showdown was pretty good. although not very original, it’s still the first in Singapore (i think?). and it’s great because you can catch it for free @ http://theshowdown.mediacorptv.sg/! now, who says you need mobTV?!

*raises hand* erm, okay, actually i still do..
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Reflection

the reflection we see in the mirror is nothing but an image of our shells, hiding everything that’s within. if the heart turns evil, will this shell reflect the deterioration coupled with the change too? i used to think i was beautiful, but suddenly, i feel so small and ugly. i tried so hard to get this alien image off my sight, only to find myself falling deeper into that stinky world of sorrows. eventually, i come to see that this is a place where i won’t catch a glimpse of the real me ever again.

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Wii + MJ

spent the day with the clique (minus pzz). we turned xumige’s place into an entertainment deck! *laughs* played her Wii, followed by PSP’s monster hunting for guys and NDS’s big brain academy for girls inside the room. ended the day with mahjong after dinner. well, i won $5 worth of chips! if only it was real money.. it would have covered i guess, my transport and dinner? anyways, if we make this a weekly thing, it might be something nice to look forward to.. (:

ps: stop calling me a dial-up! LOL

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