i’m not emo-ing.

it’s scary how things can change, or rather, how fast they do. it’s weird when you look back into something and realise it’s either not there anymore or, it wasn’t even there to start with. it’s an irony when the series of events are mismatched with time and status; things aren’t always how they are supposed to be at the supposed time. and at times, people think they are giving you what you want because they assumed so and thought that was the best for you but the truth is, they have no idea at all. but then again, who cares?

because there are no what-ifs and if-onlys in life, instead of dwelling and thinking of what could be, acceptance is often the only solution. strange emotions are feeling the atmosphere around me, i don’t even want to think about how i can help. not just myself though, people around too. sighs.

as usual, the Saturday was spent working. i like working on Saturdays because the place is usually dominated by the the three of us, reyna, ferlyna, and me. plus, with our dearest chen ling working, we always get to “order” food for our lunch. as i always say, it’s always better to work with people you are close with. if not, i’d often prefer to work alone. (:

dessert before lunch was red bean soup paste with glutinous rice balls prepared by boss; lunch was a sumptuous 5-course meal prepared by chen ling; dinner was a mixture of the usual dishes on the menu by ourselves. seriously, tell me how not to get fat.

anyways, i’ve created a facebook group for Roma’s Deli! nopes, my boss didn’t pay me for it. i just wanted to create awareness and help do some online promotion and advertising for the store. just thought it’d be good. wanted to do up a website like 2 years ago but was too lazy. heh. visit and join the group here! thanks for the support. (:

as usual again, Sunday morning was spent at YG, getting irritated and feeling stupid from Primary 6 mathematics. i thought i was good with numbers but i guess i just got proven wrong. numbers just don’t like me. at least, not anymore. it’s pretty demoralising actually. to be sitting there and not be of much help to the kids. story telling and sharing by yuting and sly was good but sorry i wasn’t paying attention because i was too exhausted. i feel like i need to revise my routine plans for weekends soon..

after lunch was bowling at CDANS HomeTeamNS. been ages since i last bowled and i swear i played really badly. but wait, i wasn’t a good bowler to start with. and this i have to repeat again, IT’S NOT IN THE BLOOD! just felt pretty stress when people had high expectations of me because of my dad although it’s part-jokingly. as if i didn’t feel like a failure enough, they had to keep adding “national bowler” each time i head for the lanes. -.-” WELL, at least i was the high scorer for the 1st warm up round. hur hur.

with reyna babe. and the curl on my fringe is really getting on my nerves. like, i have to pray for good hair days every morning but it seems like harder to get these days. as much as i cannot bear bidding the long hair goodbye, i wished i could snip them off like right now. well, i guess healthy hair does matter above the length and all. time will allow growth, won’t it? (:

love of the day: kueh lapis from bengawan solo! BSCS huh.. so reminds me of the ACMA project. anyways, this was a thank-you gift daddy received this afternoon. he picked up an SE880i from the drain while we were heading for breakfast. can you imagine the phone being soaked in the water for, i think, at least a night? we dismantled the parts to dry and gave it a thorough clean up. was quite a miracle that it could still be switched on actually. helped to search and cool enough, the owner of the phone used his wife’s to send an sms. so yup, that was how daddy contacted the owner and returned the lost property! felt like we did a good deed today. heh. it does pay to be good sometimes, yea?

talking about daddy, he had quite a handful of friend requests tonight. i had to explain to him who each and everyone was. like, this is this person’s son, daughter, and so on. funny but good! now that he has more friends to view and stuffs like that, i guess his attention could be diverted away from my profile. (:

on a side note, there’s supposed to be project meeting tmr but i couldn’t make it since i had to work. so sorry girls but i’ll try to do whatever i am assigned to! on that issue, seems like priorities have gone wrong once again. i just can’t help focusing on work, work, and ONLY work. it’s like i’m putting the earning-of-the-pathetic-sum-of-extra-income above studies that i don’t even have the heart to care about school anymore. nevertheless, i’m starting to worry if i’ll get pass this semester as well as i did for the previous. but as much as it’s bothering me, i can actually still cast it aside and think: it doesn’t matter, i don’t care.

i know it’s wrong, i know it’s not right, i know it’s bad, i know it’s time to shift focus, i know there’s no point.. i want to continue whining like a kid saying i can’t help it but i know at the end of the day, i’m the one who’s going to suffer. i know i can and i want to be right. but then again, i know actions are louder than words. gosh, i can’t believe i said so many i-knows so i guess, i really SHOULD know..

care less, JUST care LESS.
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