the psychological barrier.

and so, i bid my long damaged hair goodbye yesterday. actually from that picture, it looks like there’s not much difference to the length but trust me, i snipped off at least 3 inches. plus, the layers now are so minimal that my hair looks damn thick. well, it was a total damage of more than half of my February’s pay but i prefer to think that ah gong sponsored me for it.. (:

oh wells. headed to roma’s for lunch after that and everyone didn’t recognise me. the same happened in school today. especially if althea ain’t beside me, i wouldn’t be surprised if people just walk pass and not notice it was me. in fact, it was my purpose actually; i put on my fake glasses in the morning to make myself less recognisable. hah. took it off after kerk said i looked much worse. guess the entire look was bad enough to have him say that. ):

but you know, it really took me a lot of courage to step out of the house today. it may sound a little exaggerating but i seriously spent like an hour in front of the mirror trying to assure myself i look OH-KAY..

anyways, met up with gladys and fion after i’m done with my hair for a movie at suntec. wanted to catch marley and me but decided on the 3D show instead. the effect was good although the bloody scenes were pretty fake. i thought the entire movie was damn gross though and i would say, VERY sick. i was screaming and can’t help shouting WTF throughout the show. yes, that was how bad it was. but okay lah, i wouldn’t stop anyone from catching it because it was a good experience somehow. (:

sneaking a shot with the 3D glasses we owned for 100 minutes.

because Tuesday is WAFFLES DAY, we decided to share a waffle as an after-dinner dessert. first time having it without whipped cream but it was surprisingly still good. maybe cos there was my favourite ice cream flavour – vanilla! oh, the swiss chocolate caramel was good too. and i think i ate the most out of us three because i couldn’t stop attacking the waffle while they were on the phone. heh.

rights, am finally back to school today after skipping projects meeting on Monday and ethics class yesterday. honestly, i feel so out of place and i seriously didn’t like the feeling of being back in school. out of a sudden, i dislike the life of being a student. *shakes head* sat in for a little discussion for projects after class and i realised my brain needs a little tuning back to reality. well well..

dropped by the plaza after that for a while to watch the people play at the Battleground event. looks like damn fun but nah, wasn’t that sporty nor courageous enough to join in the fun. thumbs up to the planning team though, it marks one more successful event down for council. (:

on a side note, i learnt something new on the way home – how to help a blind man. it always looked easy to me when i see other people assisting them but i realised the difficulty when i tried to hold one today. it’s not as easy as how you’d hold the hands of your partners, your kids, or your friends. there was no way you could support them just like that, but thankfully still, was glad i could lend a hand. we should really treasure our eyes and sense of sight; it must really be tough to be in their shoes.

back to the topic, as much as i detest changes, i still decided to go for it because i thought it would be good in the attempt to move away from the past and develop a different tsehwee. thanks everyone anyway for the positive and negative comments given, especially to those who gave your encouragements even if they were meant to be white lies. in any case, i’m learning to like the new me. because apart from the outer appearance,ย  i want to be different inside too..

i didn’t expect myself to be so affected. or rather, still affected by your presence. i struggled for a while before walking away but somehow, i’m not so sure of the reason anymore. maybe it was just because of the overwhelming responses or maybe, it’s the thoughts and images going through my head again. i didn’t want to fake a smile but i guess it’s just a psychological barrier i have to get over. till then, it’s going to be such a love-hate thing.
sorry i’m such a kid.
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