just marked the 3rd month (plus a week) of my stay at my current company so far. have always been saying how much i enjoy the company of my colleagues and i love my marketing team of 4. but sigh. life is just cruel ain’t it? just when i thought we are all moving on to the new office and all together, reality just kills it all. idk how much i’m affected but whatever news we are getting, it’s demoralising all of us. *huge sigh*
everything seems to be so off the track these days. i don’t feel happy at all and this emo-depressing thing is getting on my nerves. other than indulging in sweet stuff for sugar rush, idk what else can make me feel better.. i need a passion, a direction and a hell lot of encouragements. but i shouldn’t expect them to be dropping from the skies, right? how do i work towards or go about achieving it?
at times, i don’t even know what i am troubled about. my life is revolving around this thing called a facade and i’m sick of wearing this smiley-face mask. not that i AM always smiling but honestly, i do ask myself, how many times are those smiles real? why do i try so hard to crack jokes and make a fool of myself? how much do i wish i could really bring joy to people? how much happier can i be? maybe all in all, crying out loud is still my best decision.