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; living life backwards while moving forward

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Thoughts

Making space

“…often, it’s not about moving on or figuring out a way to be happy about something. Not everything will be tailored to our liking, and just because it’s not, it doesn’t mean it’s going away. It’s not about getting over things, it’s about making room for them. It’s about painting the picture with contrast.

We never want to make room in our lives and hearts for things we don’t want there, but in all honesty, we can’t control most of what comes in and out anyway. And in our efforts to manhandle our existence, we hurt ourselves, because we get caught up in being upset over the failure of what we “thought should be.” Another thing that, of course, we never really know.

So maybe what we do when there’s nothing else to do is we make space in our hearts for the big, bad, ugly things we’re afraid of, and we learn to love them. We learn that these things are roadblocks that we aren’t supposed to knock down, because they serve us and show us that we need to go in another direction. We learn to love them for that, even though we don’t love them at all. We learn that they serve purpose, and it’s in going through this process a few times that we realize how what doesn’t work is usually far more important and poignant than what does.”

Brianna Wiest (Extracted from ThoughtsCatalog)

the moment you won a self-bet with yourself and wished you didn’t. it just left me speechless. anyway, with the situation at hand, the phrase just seems to come back and it’s haunting me. I wonder if everything would be better if I never existed…

NYE, NYR?

so this year, we (the clique) decided to do away with setting resolution for the new year and coming out with end-of-year punishments for failing those resolutions together on a fancy piece of paper. but I happened to come across an interesting article posted by chu and I thought some of them serve as good self-reminders on certain issues I’ve always wanted to address.

new year resolutions?

For once

I think I’ve slight OCD over some matters and I always want things done in certain way. for instance, all of my blog entries (if you notice) always starts with a red bold phrase in the middle, followed by a picture with rounded corners and my domain stamp. lol. but well, I guess for once, I can and I will do without it..

for two months

Keeping faith

trial,

on the 2nd month of antibiotics and 2nd week on Retin-A cream as prescribed by Dr Soh. i’ve read many good reviews about the cream and people seeing results within 3 weeks or longest 3 months. keeping faith with it now and i’ve been religiously applying sunscreen everyday since it is a necessity with this drug.

journey to better skin?

Mind over matter

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.”

― Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

i’ve been on an emotional roller coaster for almost the entire week. seems like the whole week ever since i got back to Singapore. anyhow, saw this quote somewhere this morning and i thought it was so apt. at times, it just takes a simple step like that to be happy.

oh, and somehow, i feel best when i’m at work. i think i truly am a workaholic. fingers crossed to finding a job, soon….

lesson learnt.

Changes

3.5 exactly.

been back for a while now. with boyf around before i flew and him still around when i’m back made everything in Singapore seems unchanged. guess the worst that happened while i was away was the really bad haze attacking the air. thankfully it went away as soon as i came back. then again, there is going to be a change to my only constant for more than 3 years. really looking forward to a good one.

oh, and today is the 23rd monthsary with le boyf. was supposed to be a milestone day for us too but i guess we’re going to postpone that till a later date.. (:

24 more.

Emptiness

6 more days.

it’s been a long long month.. have been feeling under the weather ever since the previous fever hit me and it’s like i’ve never fully recovered.. headaches are coming on & off so frequently that i’m almost immuned to the pain already. worse still, my eyes keep playing the “blur vision” game with me.

as May comes to an end…

Of Injustice

feeling unjustified, literally.

past few weeks have been chaotic. or rather, it’s still pretty chaotic now. learnt the hard way that human beings are hard to please. little happens when you don’t do anything but shit falls upon when you try to work on something. by the way, i’m proud of our little launch event done today despite having come across some mean words from the keyboard warriors on forums. (ps: we’re glad you didn’t come too.) thank you all who’ve made this possible.

little rants..

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