mambo night was a blast. saw a couple of familiar faces around.. actually it wasn’t anything to do with the place lah. not that i enjoyed the funny dancesteps, you see.. it’s the company, and the drinks. but i think the last thing i really recalled saying was “graveyard tastes like coffee”. *laughs* anyways, thanks charles and carmen for seeing me home, and sorry too for whatever i did, or did not do. hahaha.. pictures shall be up soon when i get the full set and finish cropping them for blogging purposes. am having a little hangover now but i think the butterflies in my stomach is killing me more. my heart is beating like so fast like nobody’s business and seriously, i’m already starting to feel nervous for later. i probably am just too afraid to fail. *sigh*
i changed my mind; i hate the project(s). it’s like i know what to write but i don’t know what to write. alrights, i admit i can’t really figure what i’m trying to prove here. well, it’s a wonderful Friday night, destroyed by the need to complete this assignment. what’s more pathetic? there is school tomorrow, on a beautiful Saturday morning. well, i feel like i can do with some sleep now.. hah.
sometimes i can’t comprehend, so i whine, i complain, i grumble. i’m not pointing fingers or putting blames, but why can’t friendship between two persons of different genders be pure? why must it always be suspected and misunderstood? why must simple things get complicated? where is the trust? is there even an answer to these questions?
i’m not guilty of anything, yet i feel so apologetic. each time this happens, i feel like i AM the bitch. am i so unworthy of your trust? i can’t help wondering, what am i, in your eyes.. well, i don’t know if i’d feel the same as you did if i were to be in your shoes instead. because for all we know, i may react worse. *laughs* but i guess i’d still choose to believe. in any case, if it makes you so uncomfortable, i’ll keep a distance. (:
exhausted; rotting at home the whole day watching videos seems to be draining all my energy, sucking me dry both physically and emotionally. i suddenly lost the passion to appear online like i’ve always loved to, and never used to feel sick or tired of. it was something i must do every single day even if it meant just one hour of my free time. but why, not now anymore? i don’t feel like connecting to or communicating with anyone but i just can’t seem to detach myself from my dear 3-years old gadget. probably that’s why i’m starting to feel the pleasure of appearing offline (AO).
ANYWAYS, tse hwee found a job! location: very near her home. pay: very much lesser than the previous job but a tiny bit higher than the ex-previous job. commencing: friday evening. now, she hasn’t told her parents and is thinking how to fill them in on it. *sigh*
how’d you feel if someone you loved left you suddenly, for the other world? how’d you feel if someone you loved is gone forever, and never coming back? honestly, i guess i haven’t really dealt with situations like that. as far as i can recall, i’ve never attended any funerals or stuff like that of anyone close to me, whether blood-related or not. of course, it’s a good thing. after all, i wished i’ll never have to experience that agony. but i can emphatise; i feel the pain for people losing their loved ones, reading their stories make me tear. with disasters so near us, natural and/or unnatural deaths being so common now, who’s to say i may be the next? when the day comes, will i be remembered?
“It’s like stepping into quicksand, the more you struggle, the deeper and faster you sink, yet even if you cease moving, you’re neither saved nor safe.”
quoted from one of joanne peh’s blogs; i really like that sentence. what do you think? it totally makes sense, doesn’t it? but if given a choice, i’d still want to step into that quicksand. because that’s what makes love, LOVE. (:
had a mini drinking gathering session with a couple of swiss peeps last night. a good thing is, i didn’t encounter a hangover. probably this time round, i had adequate rest before leaving the place. anyways, i really enjoy people-watching after dawn. especially when people around you ain’t sober (and you are), there’re loads of hilarious happenings. but at times, it kinda makes you reflect on your own behaviour too..
but well, as much as i enjoy these nightlifes, there’s still one thing i really detest: the stench that works like a wonderful perfume. seriously, you wouldn’t like going home smelling like that. HMM, at least not for me. in any case, shall be back with more updates when i get the pictures. and with the line-up of events tmr, i reckon there will be a hell lot MORE pictures. till then, stay tuned! *laughs*
had my four pillars of destiny (a.k.a ‘ba zi’ or 八字) read yesterday. well, there’s nothing much to divulge about; i’ll tell you if i want to because i’m sure a couple of my friends already know quite a bit.
anyways, just like any other readings, there are goods & bads. and that is where i start practicing selective believing. of course, i’m not saying that i’ll ignore all the negative parts. taking it as a heed of advice or a way to improve myself, i’m sure i can add one more stroke to all the –s and make them all +s.
don’t worry, my life is still good. and i’ll make sure it can only get better. in any case, nobody can know what will happen in the future; even if the predicted does come true, it’s all already fated, isn’t it? because everything happens for a reason, let them all happen for a good cause!
on another note, i kinda got busy at work towards the end of the day. with slightly more than a week more of service at the company, i suddenly had a dozen of to-dos added to my initially EMPTY list. well, i’m not whining because trust me, i really like having things to do. but now the trouble is: which and whose task should i complete first? should i go by first-come-first-serve basis or bitter-first-sweet-later manner? *laughs*
i’m starting to agree with daddy & mummy’s saying of me being overly calculative. in monetary terms, that is. seriously, there are so many things i can’t seem to stop worrying about..
i have been:
- searching for part-time jobs, intending to work my ass off all the free days i have on my schedule when school commences,
- surviving on chocolate diets and budget lunches for days since a week ago to save that little few dollars & fats,
- sourcing forums, ebay and other sites for cheap deals on 2nd-hand textbooks for the four modules i’m going to take,
- rejecting all movie dates, even for the titles i really do want to watch,
BUT i won’t deny i still splurged a little on clothes & shopping; it’s something i already am controlling, just not as much. hahaha..
i don’t see anything wrong with doing things the way i did, thus i can’t understand why daddy & mummy always get so fed-up and start exchanging the “there-your-daughter-goes-again” look everytime we come to the topic of earning & spending money. somehow, i just wanted to feel richer but i always end up finding myself poorer than ever. *sigh* thinking back, probably i really am overdoing it. HMMM..
anyways, congrats to dancing partner for getting the green light from the traffic police! (:
all thanks to xumige, we went a little high over TALKING on msn. just imagine a window of sound clips – pressing F2, blabber to the mic, click Play, and repeat the process. hahaha. and then we suggested downloading Skype again where the 3 of us chatted for over an hour.. we could have a clique conference call but wushuyi wasn’t online, pzz couldn’t find his mic and ah chu didn’t want to download it! ):
well well. but it really reminds me of the days 2-3 years ago when everyone was so INTO Skype. btw, i still have like almost a few dozens of contacts on my list but none of them is online anymore. *laughs* anyways, regarding the title, click to read on..
eewhesteey.com 