sometimes, when I get tired of myself, my life, and everything around me, I very much wished I could know the reason why. I wished I could express myself better with words. I read books and blogs, I see how people seem to write a fanciful story, an awesomewordsful article and I start to wonder.. why don’t I seem to possess this “power of language”? then again, I try to search within myself and never fail to realise how weak I am in all aspects of life. not that I like bringing myself down or simply being a pessimist. honestly, somehow confidence and self-esteem were never in my dictionary. I understand all these negative thoughts can be changed and improved so long as I set my heart to do it. but why does it just seem so hard? have I not tried? or have I failed just too many times that i’m alr too tired to? I’ve no idea but.. I rest my case.
good old days.
it was ting’s birthday and DAZ finally met up again. somehow, it seems like we need special occasions to have a meet-up but no, it shouldn’t and will not be that case.. i know i’m probably the one with the least right to say this cos i’m always the one who cannot make it but… i really hope our “promise” of sustaining our MONTHLY meetups still stands. anyways, happy 22nd darling!
a humble dream.
i’m a graduate, like finally and officially.. after a good 8 months wait and 7 months in the workforce, finally received the gigantic piece of paper from RMIT and officially bidding school goodbye. anyways, in a blink of the eye (cliche but never better a way to put it), it’s September! i must say i had a really packed August, weekends all burnt with activities which is not work. how rare!
wishes.
was randomly commenting on one of my friend’s blog, making me log into my long-forgotten blogger account. looking through my User Profile made me realised how much i used to love playing around with the old Photoshop and html codes and all, coming out with a chunk of silly blogskins. i can safely say i’ve never used a template provided by Blogger itself because i was too anal to want every customized and unique to my own style..
chu wa eh.
taking a break from moonlighting on my precious off Saturday and weekend Sunday, finally got to replenish my sleep a little. but well, i actually bummed at home for 2 days, almost transforming into a 宅女 since i had no where to go. randomly, i recalled this show ah ben asked me to watch and so i did..
up and away.
moonlighting has cost me like half of my life. plus a whole week packed with parties and all, it’s like i’ve no time to rest at all. i thought this was what i wanted from the start but i realised it ain’t working out. keeping myself busy was supposed to distract me from all the unnecessary thinking and all but it seems like they still get to me even when i get a split second of unoccupied time. i suppose this isn’t a solution afterall. lost all purpose and there’s no point already. anyways, time flies right? it’s already June now and i wished i could have school holidays like the kids and go for a little getaway. the question now is, can i afford it? not so much about the money though (i’ve been spending like everything’s free recently), but more of the time. do i have it? i really wonder…
i’d smile for you.
cruelty.
just marked the 3rd month (plus a week) of my stay at my current company so far. have always been saying how much i enjoy the company of my colleagues and i love my marketing team of 4. but sigh. life is just cruel ain’t it? just when i thought we are all moving on to the new office and all together, reality just kills it all. idk how much i’m affected but whatever news we are getting, it’s demoralising all of us. *huge sigh*
challenge.
one of the quotes-on-pictures made for my tumblr; i feel like i’m pretty in need of some “anesthesia” now. i think it’s been almost a month since i last had a good binge. and it’s Friday again! well, just that weekends don’t seem to make much of a difference except that i can dress more casually to go out. i AM still working anyways so yup, not much of excess time to sleep. hahah.
累了.
been a while since i last blogged. still can’t find myself the Photoshop program and crack. wonder if that’s a reason or an excuse. whatever the case, just want to update but hmm, gonna be a whole paragraph of whines. so if you are reading this, you just need to know i AM still alive and that is enough. whatever’s under the cut is not important. (:
eewhesteey.com 